Asking for help
I have a confession to make: It kills me to ask for help! There, now you know, my personal place of vulnerability is a source of frustration to the people closest to me. Life piles up and I feel smothered under responsibilities because I have a very hard time asking for help. It is ridiculous and I know it and still I return to the same place and trip time and time again. Recently I decided it was time to examine myself and see what my problem is. I have been told I clearly have an issue!
Traveling through the desert with Moses in Exodus, I saw something that got my attention and I decided to dig around a little deeper in Scripture. People and their problems overwhelmed Moses. After all, people have problems and they require lots of time and care to handle them well. I feel sure you can relate. His father in law made a wise observation and had some advice for him. (This fact could be harder to relate to for some.)
“You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.” Exodus 18:18 (NIV)
I saw something in that statement that stung me like a scorpion in the hot desert sand. Not only am I wearing myself out but I’m also wearing out others around me. The very thing I am trying to avoid is exactly what is happening. So I asked myself some personal questions.
Why won’t I ask for help?
Are you willing to expose, admit, or reveal your own weaknesses, inadequacies, and inabilities? Do you want people to think you can “do it all?” It requires humility to ask for help.
Are you open to sharing the sense of accomplishment when you allow others to enjoy the satisfaction of participating in achieving a goal? In other words, do you want all the credit? Sharing responsibilities strengthens the whole. (Marriage, family, workplace, classroom, team, church, community, nation)
Are you willing to release perfectionistic tendencies and accept that your way is not always the best or only way? God’s way is always the best way.
Are you trying to be accommodating to keep from being bothersome, annoying, or demanding? (This was like hitting a raw nerve for me!) “What’s wrong with that?” you may ask. Waiting in His presence, the genuine fear in my heart surfaced. I want approval and acceptance from people. To self-protect, I won’t ask.
It’s a default button wired someplace deep within. It’s time to disconnect from the deception. It’s time to live for the approval of God alone. I’m learning to ask others. It’s hard but “this thing (called life) is too much for me: I am not able to perform it by myself.” I also know I have no business trying to self- protect because my God is a shield and defender and an ever-present help.
Thank you, Jethro, Moses’ father in law, I get the message. Ya’ll watch out, I’m going to be asking for a lot more help. Feel free to say “no” because I’m learning to not take it as a personal rejection or disapproval.
