What do we do with regret?
Regret is not uncommon to human nature. I live with the consequences of decisions and choices in my life that I wish I had not made. At the time, my priority was to avoid pain as much as possible. I wanted to fix the problem and tell myself I had no other choice. I did the best I could. All I accomplished was delaying the pain and complicating the problem.
I have a strong feeling most of you can relate to places in your life where your response to circumstances left you living with regret.
The definition of regret is:
Deep feelings of sorrow arising from past events now seen as sin, mistakes, misfortune. Regret can either leads to true repentance or destructive bitterness.
Have you learned to live with regret? As you look back in your life, do you find yourself continuing to try to explain, justify, or excuse choices you made that have had painful and even devastating consequences? Have you become a master at blaming and shifting responsibility to someone else?
THE BITTERNESS OF NAOMI
I’ve learned some lessons from a woman in the Bible named Naomi. I want to share these lessons with you. We meet her when she is filled with regret, and the bitterness it breeds is stealing her ability to see the blessings God is giving her.
It stems from a decision to leave the promised place of provision and protection of God. Israel, their homeland, was experiencing famine. Naomi and her husband choose to go to Moab, a forbidden land because food is plentiful. They decide to escape the hardship and uncertainty of a real-time situation and go where life appears to be better. Fear of the future is a powerful pull to figure out an alternate plan. I’m sorry to say I recognize it.
In unsettled and uncertain times, we are all vulnerable to abandoning our walk of faith and stumbling down what seems to be a safe path. Too many times in my own life it led me to a land of regret. Naomi and her family exchanged physical famine for spiritual famine, and the price was high!
Can I encourage you to pick up your Bible or open an App and read Ruth 1:1-13. The Lord wants you to learn from Naomi’s life. His word is full of real people in human trials just like yours and mine. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you gain wisdom and learn. Ask Him to show you if you are stepping out from under the protection of the God who knows you and loves you and desires to lead you in the everlasting way.
THE “IF ONLY” MERRY-GO-ROUND
If fear is trying to bully you and tempt you to believe God has forsaken and forgotten you, please stop and wait before you make a decision you will regret. The world (Moab) appears to be fertile and comfortable, but the dangers of being outside of God’s will are devastating. They lead to desperate places of gnawing hunger in your spiritual life.
I imagine Naomi heard “if only” go around and around in her head. The harassing chorus of “would have, should have, could have” played on repeat through her heart and spirit. I’ve heard it too. It is a clanging cymbal, a grating melody to taunt your memories.
Regret is the enemy’s refrain for mistakes and misfortunes in our lives. It’s his tedious tool to take us into despair and depression. Naomi is there today. Who can blame her? A woman who describes her life as one who “went out full but came home empty.” (Ruth 1:21)
GOD’S REMEDY FOR REGRET
I’ve learned God has a remedy for regret. He has an alternative for the pain of bad decisions and choices. It’s called REPENTANCE.
“The kindness of God leads us to repentance.” (Romans 2:4)
Because your Father loves you, He has provided a way for us to live with the wrong choices, mistakes, and misfortunes of our lives that offer us peace and prosperity in our spirit in spite of our past.
It begins with calling our choices by their actual name, sin. It’s a willingness to say, and I did not trust you, Lord. Please forgive me for my sin. Honestly confess things like:
I did not seek your counsel. I was much more concerned about my comfort. I listened to the offers of the world.
I did not depend on You. I leaned on my own understanding.
I have held on to people and problems I should have released, I’ve dropped people and issues I should have committed to you.
I have blamed my sin on other people in my life, but now I’m claiming responsibility for my actions. I’m guilty.
Jesus died on the cross to take the penalty of my sin. He gave His life to free me from my rebellious, selfish, prideful choices. When I repent and release my choices to the cleansing blood of Jesus, He frees me from the trap of regret.
“Repent of your sins, turn to God, so your sins will be wiped out, so that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” (Acts 3:19)
Release your regrets at the foot of the cross. Call them for what they are: sins and confess them. No excuses, no explanations necessary because He knows you. Humbly ask Jesus to wash away blame, shame, and the chronic guilt of regrets. He will release you from the penalty and allow you to bear the consequences with joy and peace. He will refresh you with His hope.
The Lord does not orchestrate everything in our lives, but He uses anything we surrender to Him. That is very good news! Your declaration of faith can come from your own genuine experience of repentance. You will be able to say,
“And I know all things work together for (my) good to those who love God, (I love His provision of the cross for my sins) who are the called according to His purposes.” (Romans 8:28)
If you desire to be released from the binding grip of regret, please pray this with me.
“Lord Jesus, thank you for making the way for me to walk in freedom from regret and live in Your goodness and grace provided through the repentance of sin. You paid my price on the cross. I name my choices and decisions as sin. I ask you to forgive me & wash me. I love you. In Your Name, Amen.
